Alive Day (The Homefront Trilogy Book 2) by Crowley Rebecca

Author:Crowley, Rebecca
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

Six

“I’m in control of this situation. I’m in control of my thoughts and feelings. I’m making the decision to enjoy this evening without feeling anxious. Everything will be fine.”

Mia repeated the statements in time with the straightening iron she ran through her hair, using the same soothing self-talk technique she taught battle-traumatized soldiers to prepare herself for her date with Ethan.

“For God’s sake,” she muttered in self-disgust, slamming the iron on the dresser. “It’s just dinner.” And an outdoor barbecue if the smell of charcoal drifting up to her window was any indication. If he planned to sexually assault her, surely he would prefer to do it inside?

She’d told her colleague, Jeff, where she’d be and what was happening. She’d keep an eye on her drink and she wouldn’t go overboard with the alcohol. And her short-sleeved, palm-tree-print dress hardly screamed “take me now”—not that what she wore should make any difference, she reminded herself firmly.

Yet she couldn’t shake the sense that Ethan was dangerous—and the threat was more likely to her heart than her body.

She glared irritably at her reflection in the mirror. She was fed up with this stupid relationship anxiety, the lack of faith in men’s intentions and her inability to trust herself because of one failure of self-control ten years ago.

“Ten years ago,” she emphasized aloud. She’d been a naïve undergraduate who didn’t know her limits. Lots of women probably had similar if not identical experiences, but did they let that single night curtail their love lives for the next decade? Of course not. They hurt, then they learned and moved on. They didn’t spend their adulthood serially dating men they found comfortably underwhelming and fleeing at the first sign of attraction.

Her hand stilled over the hairbrush on the dresser. Was she doing it again? Was she going out with Ethan because subconsciously she knew his combat trauma would make a long-term relationship impossible? Was she only able to act on her attraction because she felt safe knowing he was even more broken than she was?

“This is so fucked up,” she muttered, but raised the brush and pulled it through her hair, hating herself a little more with each stroke. She couldn’t back out now, and there were still five weeks left in the research project—which meant five more weeks with nothing but a foot of drywall keeping them apart. She’d recognized and acknowledged her dubious motive, and now she had to set it aside and offer Ethan the open-minded honesty he deserved.

Mia grabbed a bottle of wine out of the fridge and opened her front door, then froze in confusion as she caught sight of the man on Ethan’s doorstep. He wore jeans and a T-shirt, his brown hair was cut to army regulation. He had a heart-shaped box of chocolates in one hand and a lavender balloon proclaiming Happy Easter! in the other.

They regarded each other with mutual surprise as Mia crossed the lawn.

“Don’t worry,” he assured her as she approached. “He’s expecting me.”

She frowned.

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